an insight of a Bruneian.

2012-02-04T10:25:00.001Z

It seems to be snowing everywhere else. Why isnt it snowing here?:( yet?

We had this Maulud Nabi function lastnight. Good food, good company, but I was knackered. I fell asleep. Planned on an all-nighter, I failed miserably.

2012-01-28T03:43:00.001Z

..And I just thought of the time we used to hang out.

But then I remembered....

..i no longer know you.

over my head -the fray

2012-01-08T00:41:00.000Z

Music box.

2012-01-06T08:19:00.000Z

As I wound the thingy, I thought 'this is like when I was a kid' not that I had one (except for that mobile thing with the music, that puts you to sleep), but the stories I read, the movies I watched. The music box had been in some of them.

I watched the horses go around up and down on the tiny merry-go-round. Empty. All there was to it was the music it played with it. I thought of how, in the stories or movies I saw, made it a significant object in someone's life.
It stopped. I wound it again, double the time I did before. There was a ferris wheel beside it, I wound that up to. It slowly moved. The music wasnt in sync, I watched it for a few seconds and left.

On the way home, I thought of the music box. I thought of how that one thing brought me back to my childhood. I thought back on how it was meant to be something special in somebody's life, it wasnt in mine, how it is in reality just an object with a marked price of less than 20$ (I'm sorry Im so used to putting the dollar sign in a way I would say it - i know it isnt meant to be). Then I thought, it didnt tell noone, nothing, about life itself.

2012-01-06T08:05:00.001Z

Patience.
Thats all there is to it.

Ungu - Demi Waktu

2012-01-04T15:05:00.000Z

If I had the choice, I would never want to let go.
If I had been assured, that I was the only one, I would have believed that.
If time had been on my side, I'd spend it all with you.

If the world could stop, I'd wish it stop when I was happy with you.

Musiq Soulchild - Teach Me How to Love {With Lyrics}

2012-01-04T08:19:00.000Z

2012-01-04T07:41:00.001Z

Run down ink on paper.

I dont know how it became what it became. All I could think about was, what a mess that was. I would have to redo everything, and time is something I lack.

So I wasted time on Tetris waiting for the paper to dry up, it doesnt seem to do me good. All I can think about is how messed up that book had become. Should I get a new one?cause it had seemed to destroy my motivation. I felt like breaking down.

So after a few matches (ive won most of them anyways) I heard metals clanking, I supposed it was the gate. I supposed my aunts had decided to go home. So with that I decided to stand up and check on the book, and also peek out to see if they were still down the driveway.
What I saw was nothing.. I looked further out to the road. I saw her drive by, slowly, with what seemed to be a third person in the back seat. I wasnt sure, but I supposed that was my sister. I felt left out. But now that Ive thought about it, it doesnt seem to matter. I could be there with them right now wishing I was home. So yeah, back to my book, it hadnt dried up. So I decided to type something in this blog.

What a day. My friend decided not to give my camera back today, and I felt quite..sad about that too..:(

I know theyre little things, I know I shouldnt worry like hell, and stress like hell about it, but...oh my. Things, that had to be said today.

Uber sigh.

Imma go check on my book again.

Tank - I Can't Make You Love Me [Official Music Video]

2012-01-03T17:19:00.000Z

2012-01-01T13:36:00.002Z

Burnt the last stick. Talked abit with the band playing for the Bankers party. And went to sleep before the clock striked 12.That was 'New Years'.Happy New Years ya'll. With more exciting adventures of Tintin. -__-" I know. Im funny arent I?

NIDJI.....Hapus Aku(salju80)

2011-12-29T11:25:00.000Z

2011-12-27T16:35:00.001Z

That was enough.. =]
Perhaps to last me for a few days.

2011-12-25T12:50:00.002Z

I have to be strong.

.

O-Town - All Or Nothing

2011-12-24T16:20:00.000Z

2011-12-24T15:03:00.001Z

=====================================================
I never said I was ever fine without you, but he wants to make me happy, and I think I deserve to be happy. Dont you?
I know, you no longer want to be the person that would make me happy, so please do this one last thing for me, let me be happy.
I did one last thing for you, letting you go.

Its not easy, but what's the point of standing alone for a relationship?You wont stay to listen, you wont stay to work our way around it. Why should I?Were you just gonna let me stand there alone for the rest of my life, just watching you go by?

And I thought you knew, I tried to be different for you. And I thought you knew how deep in love I was with you. But you didnt. So what's the point?

I have alot more to say. But what's the point?
Youve said it yourself. Youve put an end to it. Youve asked me to let you go. Youve said hurtful things to me. Whatelse do you wish to do?That has anything to do with me?

If there is nothing more, then just let me be happy.

Rumour Has It / Someone Like You (Glee Cast Version)

2011-12-23T10:49:00.000Z

a fag for an uneasy feeling.

2011-12-20T10:27:00.000Z

"As the uneasy feeling went on, the gaps of the door, became material, of what seemed to be a scarf. The fire flickering struggling to beat the wind, switching between colours and shape. The fire eventually found its way and smoke began to rise.

The day darkens as the minutes go by. Ashes falling and thoughts began to escape, running around the room. It was like unleashing the demons. As the smoke sinks in the insides, the uneasy feeling lifted for a little bit. One of the demons was the uneasy feeling. It ran the fastest. It was one of the most intolerable. It was one of the lost ones. No known reason for its behaviour.

Perhaps it wasnt just the smoke, perhaps it was also something else, that demon slowed down. It became weak. It no longer took form of a demon, it changed, it became a weary lost soul."

I took what was supposed to be a half an hour nap, but I guess the non-existence of energy drinks turned it to a few hours nap.
For some reason, I just wanted to go on with my sleep. But the thought of a messed up sleeping pattern gave me the urge to eventually lift the blankets of my body. And of course, the thought of my future plans. I wish to not mess that up.
I felt heat prickling at the back of my body, but the aircond was on 16degrees. I felt like ive lost my motivation to go through with my plans. I thought of the idea I had for today, and it didnt feel like I want to go on with it. I am behind on my scheduele.

And for some reason, I ended up in the kitchen, looking for food. I failed. I called the parents, but they were out somewhere, and they didnt want to get me food. So I ended up vacuuming my room. It doesnt look any different, just no more lizard shit. I hate lizards. Theyre icky and they leave a mess. But my room has a weird tendency to breed huge ass, icky lizards. I dont understand.

For some reason, at the back of my head, I think the nagging this morning, made me lose my motivation to study. I hate 'advises' it makes me seem like I dont have a brain. I am not saying I wont listen, or I wont ask. If i'm not asking for it, I already know, Ive thought of it, I have a plan. Its like.. riding a bike on a hilly slope, and the 'advice' is like the one that pushes you back down.

Im tired of blogging. It doesnt really help. -_- Ive wasted time, and Im getting sleepy again. And my train of thoughts no longer falls down to my fingers anymore. Cause it has subtly taken up my brain in every minute of every hour. And it has become very comfortable there.
I really want to study, but every part of me is shutting down.

sigh. I need food. Im hungry.

"While you're ignoring her, another guy is giving her attention & while you're giving her problems, another guy is listening."
I saw this on twitter.

Ed Sheeran- U.N.I (Lyrics)

2011-12-19T05:51:00.000Z

Cause you didnt believe in what we had.

And youre trying to make it seem like I didnt either.

You gave up on me, the way I had never given up on you.

2011-12-18T14:46:00.000Z

Ive held my head up high.
I may still be unable to stand up straight just yet. I cant walk right just yet, I cant run just yet.
But I cant let myself fall back on my knees.

Cause I still believe in fairy tales, and in fairy tales, when a person is on their knees, its with a smile and it continues with a happy ending.

2011-12-15T10:16:00.003Z

Things I could do (at the moment);
a) put my chin up.
b) keep my head up high.
c) pretend as if the pain isnt there.

2011-12-09T13:38:00.001Z

Birthday gift list:

http://www.guess.eu/Guess/EN/Woman/Watches/93?page=0
Any of these will do. Or any Guess watches.

Money would do.

Oakley

Wii console

Handbag.

PIANO - an actual one.

Horse.

Intelligence.

will be updated soon.

LoveQuotesRus

2011-12-04T13:44:00.001Z

2011-11-30T11:12:00.001Z

What more is there to think through?

Just heartache and stuck in a shitty position.

Powered by mp3ye.eu

2011-11-28T16:21:00.001Z

All you want to do; put the blame on me.

whichever devil that put you to that thought.

You had never realized.
You never will. =]

You can say, whatever it is, that makes you the better person. Or so the world thought.

But only you and I should've known what we had.
Of the few weeks, you thought I wasnt thinking of you when I did, I hope you remembered, I went through years of that. That one time, you felt, Ive felt it (according to you 7 times). Even worse, you didnt fight for me. I fought for you, for us.

I just hope you acknowledged the fact that I had always wanted us to work. And never once, as far as I could remember, I utter the words, to leave you. Because I wouldnt dare leave you, cause I thought you felt the same way like I do to you.

So take away with you whatever it is you want. Throw away everything that you think had mattered to you and no longer is. And if you could take away this feeling, bottled up just for you.

2011-11-27T01:57:00.001Z

should the impossible be fought for?

They say its selfish to fight for those who are better off happy.

They say, to know what to fight for requires logic. But if, you felt that was it. That is your 'one'?Given the above circumstances?
or should it just be let as it is?But I guess if you've fought long enough for what you believed in for so long, to only come to a same conclusion. Realising 'the one' really didnt fight for you. What is there left to do?Fate be the better judge of that.

2011-11-24T12:05:00.001Z

So it took a 5 minute break for me to think about my dissertation and actually thought about what I could write about.Well I actually overheard a conversation in relation to a Malaysian case and how much it is a muslim country.oohh..class is restarting. I shall go.

the torn piece of the future.

2011-11-23T18:01:00.001Z

What do you do when the lights were turned off on you?
and the phone lines too?
When you're stuck far away from home with no one knowing what is going on?
In a place, where you shared with someone, who is now far from you?
Taking everything along.

Imagine a room, once filled with colors of red and blue. Of rainbows and tears. Of shattered glass glued together. Of white roses and growing trees. Of graffiti and bad handwriting. Of love and hate. A window overlooking a tree that was once you have planted together. Once had bloomed fruits, once was filled with leaves.Though it had always rained, though he had always been distant, there had always been a ray of sunlight behind the clouds. Though you've never actually seen the sun, you had always had faith, you had always thought that it was there. That it would shine someday directly to the room. That the rain will pass.Seldomly, he would go out from the room, looking for the sun, and you had always questioned, if that was to justify what you believed in or was it so he could get his own ray of sun. But you'd keep the door unlocked, just in case he left his keys.

He did. He left his keys. And he left the bills unpaid. The room is unlocked, but there's a cupboard infront of the door. Which you have pushed blindly in the darkness. It isnt impossible to open the door, but it would require an amount of force to push it open. You knew, he would never come back, and you thought a 'thief' might come in and hurt you. You're not sure if you should go out and pay the bills for electricity and phone line to come back. But you are sure, that, if he was to come back, he wouldve paid the bills first, and you could push the cupboard away from the door for him to enter.

2011-11-19T20:34:00.001Z

To you, not a single pain was inflicted on me. Not a single tear had dropped for you. Nothing. =]For all the things, I thought was worth to having you and me in the future. Dust.I dont want to use all the cliche turn a new page shit. Be a better person shit. Changing shit. its pointless. Just as everything else was.And I dont want all the cliche shit either, its getting old.But for what's worth. Ill try taking the high road. Just as the world had told me too from the very beginning. =======So I asked a few people lastnight.."would you hurt for love?"I know I did. Would you?

2011-11-13T13:52:00.001Z

So I woke up this morning feeling a rip in my chest. I tried to sweep the feeling away, but it stayed. I guess, I shouldn't have had put in so much hopes and faith in you. I should've known you weren't as determined to work on it twice as much as there's been cracks from the very beginning. I guess I was wrong about you.

Bruno Mars - It Will Rain [New Music]

2011-11-11T11:25:00.000Z

A long overdue song that shouldve been posted months ago. for every word.

Backstreet Boys - Incomplete

2011-11-09T03:25:00.000Z

usher - without you

2011-11-01T09:41:00.000Z

2011-10-28T15:50:00.001+01:00

Cause id rather be with you. But you just wont stay. I miss you.

2011-10-25T11:31:00.001+01:00

Nothing helps when I miss you.

Adele- Don't You Remember

2011-10-23T20:51:00.000+01:00

Hoobastank - The Reason

2011-10-21T11:48:00.000+01:00

2011-09-27T07:25:00.002+01:00

Uneasy.

2011-09-11T19:58:00.002+01:00

I dont know how to fall asleep.
Please dont fcking tell me Im wrong for wanting to get the truth from a cheap shit who's fucking penakut kan face aku!
I cant just sit around, while some sleazy cheap shit secretly kacau my boyfriend. I didnt use to be this insecure..But he turned out to be different.

sigh.

2011-08-31T12:39:00.000+01:00

Selamat Hari Raya Negara Brunei Darussalam..:)

2011-08-26T14:54:00.003+01:00

Please donate.. to get almari for kasut.

Makaseeeyyyy!

2011-08-26T14:54:00.001+01:00

So I had this extra long blog created, that got deleted cause the blogger shit malfunctioned. -_- my spur in the moment thoughts and feelings, just got deleted. What a bitch. + i think my phone's acting up. Cause everything's been failing. Sigh.

'Cause I imagined it to be.

2011-08-21T07:04:00.000+01:00

Feeling uneasy.

2011-08-19T16:54:00.000+01:00

Just another of your ex-girlfriends arent I?

2011-08-19T15:12:00.000+01:00

You don't put me behind some other low-life.

2011-08-14T17:31:00.001+01:00

Always with the unorganised work place. With tons of food, that i dont really eat. Hehehe..taking 10mins off. :p and i also realised i havent been blogging. Im sorry for having neglected you my dear blog. Once im done with this..ill promise to try and constantly update..(which ive promised over the past few posts) hehehe..anyways..should be getting back to work..blog soon!

2011-08-09T14:54:00.002+01:00

Ughh..so I had this fucking annoying lecturer the world could possibly know off. Like..is her point of being a lecturer actually to help students?Or just show off her law acquired law phD or whatever. Her degree wasnt even in law. and wtf!
Teaches like fuck stupid. Oh yes, she mumbles when she teaches, and what she mumbles could basically be found in lawexpress. Like..wtf right?AND OMG!!she deleted her lecture notes. HOW FUCKING ANNOYING CAN YOU BE NATALIA??!!

I AM ANNOYED THE FUCK OFF HER GUTS!
UGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

What Do You Want From Me - Adam Lambert Lyrics

2011-08-07T17:43:00.000+01:00

And im just trying my best. My very best for this..

But I just dont get it.

The Script - For The First Time

2011-07-31T15:19:00.001+01:00

Cause when we meet, its just.................................. different..=)

As much as I hate to admit it.
You do brighten up my day, and I think I just rely too much on your existence in my life. =)

I miss you.

2011-07-04T18:28:00.003+01:00

Oh my days. Ive been on my blog for over an hour. Looking through my inspired posts.
So yeah, I was just about to head to bed, then realise, its July!and..I need to post something for the month!Well since its still early July anyways. So..Ive only been home for the night today. It feels nice.
And omg, as much as I love to stay and blog more, I should really be heading to bed. Cause!its late,and I dont wanna get sick cause of my lack of sleep..-.- so..will try to post something proper sometime soon. For the time being, I just need to keep this blog updated.

YAP!

2011-06-21T11:05:00.002+01:00

I havent been blogging properly in the past few months or so..its like sooo..i dont know..
My blog's dying, i know..ive been saying it over and over and over, with intention to revive it. But..i havent been philosophical in life lately, and I havent been blogging about my life..and I havent had much common sense.

i really have no intention to blog.. I dont know if i still have a reason to..this used to be a sort of diary, but yeah, having it all in public and all that shiz, it just died. I know I could have the option of privatising it, but what would be the use ya know?
So yeah..so..hmm..dad went to Cambodia lastnight, and apparently he left his charger..so..cannot reach him one. Today is the first time in days that i stayed home. It feels soo..not reviving. Chilling though, being in my room, but everywhere else is just..killing me..
Okay..i seriously dont know how to blog..:( this sucks. I used to love blogging and talking about stuff..but I just dont know what the hell i should blog about now..:( I SOOOOO WANNA BLOG!!gimme some ideas..eseh apakan.. so yeah..till i get something running in my mind..!

2011-06-13T16:58:00.001+01:00

I guess I'll just have to keep how I feel for myself from now on.

2011-06-08T16:47:00.002+01:00

Been awhile since I blogged the shit of myself.

So im back home. Slowly taking it in.
hmm..i dont know..what else to blog about really. Last night in London, was as last December.

I think I finally managed to take over my sleeping problem.. or not. teehee.. hmm..what more?I dont know..-.- i just need to update this thing. And hmmm..nothing more..:) will blog some shit some other time.

2011-05-30T13:48:00.002+01:00

"If she's amazing she won't be easy. If she's easy she won't be amazing. If she's worth it you won't give up. If u give up you're not worthy."

Ive been trying.. for so long.
when will you ever see?My heart, doesnt seem like it could cope any longer.

Please. If you do want things the way it was, make me see it. Dont keep strangling my heart on a string and yanking it hard.

2011-05-25T18:31:00.000+01:00

I cant believe I'll be leaving my room..:( sighh..

2011-05-22T20:40:00.001+01:00

Cause no matter what. Whenever I think of being by your side, it makes me a tad bit better. It makes me a tad bit happier. It makes my day a tad bit brighter.

M.

2011-05-17T14:55:00.000+01:00

Has it occur to your mind that I actually want to try to work this out?

2011-05-17T00:57:00.001+01:00

Sucks.
I miss you.

2011-05-15T20:29:00.001+01:00

Found this in my draft. Im not sure if Ive uploaded this.

But those three..super hot. Ohh..and boobies for the fellas. -.-

2011-05-15T11:41:00.001+01:00

Nelly - Nothing Without Her (with Lyrics)

2011-05-14T20:42:00.002+01:00

Someone who'll fight.
Who'll keep me, despite anything else.

Chris Brown - Look At Me Now ft. Lil Wayne, Busta Rhymes

2011-05-11T19:11:00.000+01:00

High Rolla'.

Five important days to kill, then I'm all good to go. Tomorrow's the first. Time to review them notes.

2011-05-08T18:54:00.002+01:00

Do you love me or do I run?

So for the past few days, I havent been able to make proper revision.. I really dont know why. Could it be cause its the weekend?

Ughhh.,.lazy days. So..what has been up?Nothing much?hmmmm..okeh..I cannot think. I need to pee for the hundreth time..:( so I shall vamoose.

Cant wait to be back home..=)

Im doing all I can to be a better *person.

2011-05-04T12:05:00.002+01:00

A relationship cant make your life a whole lot better, knowing that you're loved does.

And a song from Olly Murs to start the day can make your day too..=)) well at least mine.

Im at the library at the moment. Supposedly doing my Public law revision BUT I forgot where I left of..-.- soo..Im procrastinating for a little bit.

Yesterday, my brows were done, and they're ultra thin now. I look like Chinese..-.- soooo..weird.

awwwmmm..what else..nothing really. well there was that Junjung Ziarah I went to in London. Like couple of days ago?But then again.. hmmm..oh my..so there were tons of stuff going on. But since, ive been such a lazy ass to update, and even upload pictures, they remain only in my mind. and thoughts. Oh my!

met these girls. ♥♥ had a great time too..teehee..

So awwmm..gotta be getting on them revisions now. Exam starts on the 12th. Blog soon after. Got tons of things planned.

2011-05-03T01:05:00.000+01:00

For some unknown reason, I really cant wait to be back. =)

2011-05-02T19:36:00.001+01:00

There's something about him.

Something about his songs.

2011-04-28T22:16:00.000+01:00

Oh.. simple things..

where art thou went?

2011-04-27T12:36:00.001+01:00

I wonder if its all a sham?

..sigh.

Sometimes life just feels like chapters of 'Good-byes'. - Rascal Flatts.

Adele - Someone Like You Lyrics On Screen

2011-04-26T16:41:00.001+01:00

...truly beautiful.

2011-04-23T18:57:00.000+01:00

I'd marry whoever's willing to get me one of these. Or maybe..consider marrying him. LOL.

2011-04-23T12:27:00.001+01:00

So this screwed up my day.

And not forgetting the fact that my laptop has failed. And has left with my internet activity to be done on phone and alas the downloading of tons of stuff?blearghhh.

Sade - No Ordinary Love

2011-04-22T23:16:00.001+01:00

But nevertheless..=))

Tinie Tempah - Invincible ft. Kelly Rowland

2011-04-20T21:30:00.001+01:00

You made things feel, beyond human. I was beyond superhuman. I believed. I believed this could have been our song.

..But..remnants of sensibility. That one moment you let me go, that one moment, things just slipped out of place. That one moment. All the things I didn't see appeared infront of my eyes.

Im tired.. of all the same things over and over. Im tired of trying to see how much you're fighting for this. Im tired of the constant instability of things. I want something more than this. All the things, we've never tasted, cause we constantly have this same thing going on over and over.

...You cant expect me to be the only one to keep on understanding the reality of things.

Cause I dont. And I cant.

2011-04-19T22:02:00.004+01:00

Back to reality.

Missing the part where I had our vacation..:( Be posting pictures sometime.. Not tonight. Too depressed. heh.

So yeah.. had one of the best times of my life. And being back just feels, weird. Its good to be back to all the familiar smells and sound and everything.. But..its just soooo weird. Had about 2weeks away. And I cant emphasise this enough, but the best times of my life.

Nothing beats. Its like being home-sick, but worse. Cause its only been home for a week. blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!

2011-04-03T12:55:00.001+01:00

Despite an issue that has rose.

I had one of the best weekends ever..=)

2011-03-28T23:31:00.001+01:00

And today..I have a swollen toe.

2011-03-28T23:25:00.002+01:00

'I miss you' don't seem to be the right word for how I feel.

And I dont understand..

sigh.

~~the only thing to do now, is to pretend, its no longer in my mind.~~

Sade - By Your Side

2011-03-23T22:46:00.000Z

I miss you.

I know I should stop.

I'll try. Cause thats what you want.

And there's really no point, for me too.

2011-03-23T21:06:00.002Z

I bet you just don't know how much in love I am with you.

2011-03-23T19:50:00.003Z

I could've sworn, I was one of those good girlfriends that stood by her man. That no matter what, I would still be there, right at his back for all things.

But then, one hit..and that just, tumbles the life out of my glass blocks of building.

So yeah, when it crashed, things are just left shattered.

Those tiny pieces of shattered glass was hoping that same person who crashed them was the same person to pick them up and glue them back together.

But then, the person just walked by.. stepping on each piece of glass and shattering them more to bits. Alas, the pieces still awaits.

And he'll just keep on passing by.

2011-03-21T17:04:00.002Z

thats worse than if you were cheating on me.

but I miss you.

2011-03-21T15:39:00.001Z

Back..

Nelly - Just A Dream

2011-03-15T00:45:00.000Z

Diddy - Dirty Money - Coming Home ft. Skylar Grey

2011-03-11T13:32:00.000Z

2011-03-10T11:53:00.001Z

And i thought, itd be the best thing I could get since the past few months.

Turns out. it wasnt.

Please get better soon.

2011-03-04T13:03:00.001Z

And just when I was about to take off. I thought of you..=]

~~I miss you.~~

2011-03-03T14:26:00.002Z

How did I even end up in this mess?sigh.

I just now need a direction, a place to go. I'll re-do my life, as if I was just born yesterday.

I'll try.

2011-03-03T13:20:00.002Z

Im worried, and im eager..and..ARGHH..so many things to be done in so little time. At least it takes my mind away..=)

i think im gonna go..

..and Im back home.

2011-03-01T11:16:00.002Z

What do you do when everything starts to fall apart?

Watch the ruins and try to walk through it.

and we're thinking of heading to noodle one for lunch. (again) last time. failed. this time, another shitty thing. sudah tah kali eh..-.-

and ive got class at 4 later..so...hmmmmmm..i shall shower..=]

Mike Posner - Please Don't Go (Music Video & Lyrics)

2011-02-24T23:46:00.000Z

have I not told you about this?

sigh. Imissyou.

2011-02-24T21:46:00.000Z

i dont know how to make it stop..

why?

2011-02-23T19:00:00.002Z

Selamat Hari Kemerdekaan ke 27, negaraku, Negara Brunei Darussalam.

And at this very moment, with my cup of tea, looking out the window. The fog seems to have subsided, but it still does look foggy. I need to do my work, but I just cant seem to focus. So Im just chilling, looking out the window.

My days have felt empty. I miss him. I miss home. I have no reason to go back other than my family. It used to be him. Ive been thinking through, im just beyond speechless. So its been another day in my room. They took my shower today, they cleaned it. its now clean. sigh. I really dont feel like blogging. This seems overdue. But Im feeling patriotic. And I miss homeland. Im at a point in my life thats just fucked. Its a huge ball of mess. And im just wandering the grounds cause I dont know where to go from here. sigh. And yes, this blog needs lightening up, thats why I posted this. But now I shall go on chilling, and then start with work.

~~i miss you M.~~

Broken by Lifehouse Lyrics

2011-02-21T18:53:00.001Z

Cause I keep on tumbling down trying to walk away from you.
With every single thing I do, there's you at the back of my mind.

And I just miss you.

2011-02-20T14:51:00.002Z

What do I do now with all this love I have for you?

=======

They're planning to go for a movie. I hope its just not one of those romantic comedies.

Id like a good laugh.

without having to think of you at the back of my mind.

You know, its not your pity that Im asking for. I dont need your pity. What I want is for you to know.

2011-02-18T12:25:00.004Z

It feels more than a heartbreak.

Its not that I cant go through my days missing you. I just cant go through the days, knowing you're missing from my life, period.Im trying my best to fight off the feeling, but it just stays there.
No matter how far I run, no matter how high I go, the truth is still; you're gone away from my life.
At this point, in my mind, if I had known, things could just disappear in a matter of seconds, I would've just believed them. I should've just believed them. I shouldve just listened to them.But then my heart's just calling out, needing a gist of fresh air to get away from all the pain its going through and just runaway to you. My mind, my body, my soul, my heart. Each on their own.

And all I ever wanted...

was just something we never had.

If I had known, giving up was much of an option for us as losing faith in promises, I should have known that was the choice I had to take long time ago.
Sigh..despite all this, all I can think about is if I had you with me right now.If things had been different.If I hadnt fallen deep in love with you.If my every though had not revolve around you.
I know, you believe more in words than actions. So here there are. Here are my words. Here is what I feel. And here I hope youll get how much in love I am with you.

I miss you Mervyn Yeong

2011-02-14T09:26:00.002Z

I tried to stay in reality, and it bites.

Here, its valentine's day so Im guessing itd be abit hard to avoid?:(

~~sigh..I miss you M. I wonder if you do..=]~~

2011-02-12T20:21:00.004Z

The world doesnt need to know my stuff.

but I still have the right, to put it out.

I miss you M.

Its Saturday, thought of doing something. But, just too knackered. =]
If I dont hop on board, I just feel it..

and it hurts like hell.

2011-02-08T15:32:00.000Z

Dido - Here With Me download at emp3

2011-02-08T09:15:00.002Z

The reality is...

~~it still hurts as if it just happened yesterday.~~

2011-02-06T20:19:00.002Z

Sometimes, running away is the best option.

Can you picture, closing your eyes, with the wind hitting on your face?

Thats what literally happened few days back. In the rain, at 0400, over the top crazy wind, rain dripping like crazy on your face. Just closed my eyes, and that was all I felt. Everything else just seemed to be washed away by the rain, blown away by the wind.

So its Sunday..night. Tomorrow, classes. Pulling things back together..=]

So, yeah.. crazy week. For everybody. Sasya came back today. She like kinda was gone tarus. lol. tired.

So yeah.. im hungry. Im gonna go cook, and chill and sleep.

2011-02-03T19:04:00.004Z

I dont know what Im standing up for. What Im waiting for.

Maybe, its just not as I thought it was.

It just wasnt.. was it?I struggled too. But that dont matter. Its just the beginning of the night. And I already feel I should just be standing in the wind. Let be blown away.

--------------

Just feel like flipping somebody off.