Tuesday, March 28, 2017
It's been awhile since I last written anything on this blog. Sitting here in Ward 10, waiting for my mom's turn to be brought to the operation room finally gave me an oppurtunity to do so.
It was a few days ago that I just thought of this blog, checking up on the things I've written. Basically nothing much. Which reminded me that the last actual thing meaningful thing that I wrote was one on my ex. The way he treated me, and how he has broken me. I tried looking for the post only to find out that it's not in this blog somehow. I am pretty sure I've posted it and I dont think I ever came back to delete my own writing which I had put my heart and soul to. Also I don't even go back to go through all those stuff. I doubt Blogger would automatically delete a post, so I naturally assume, that....
So anyways.. its 2017, unexpected things happened towards the shitty 2016. It was a struggle to adapt to the changes, and it was a struggle to overcome the fears I have developed over the past years. But I think it was worth it. It made me thankful for the shit that I went through the past years cause it has gotten me here. It was worth it. It wasn't sorta fair though but I'm working through it, and he's willing to go through it with me. I feel so blessed.
Lastnight I had a dream, that had made me think things through, maybe it is about time to put my fears aside, to tear my walls down and allow things to fall in place. I think things are falling into place perfectly.
Well, for now I've got to go back to my slides. Correct it and show my capabilities. I meant to write a longer post, but may be not now. Maybe on a later date.
Tuesday, September 13, 2016
Its been awhile, I'm glad that at the end of the day I came back.. Back to writing (typing in this case). I thought it was something that I've lost, I never realised that I wasn't inspired enough.
It's 2016, things have been... the same. Drama is somehow inevitable, even when you do the right things. That's one lesson learned this year.
Another lesson learnt is that, getting fucked over by your love of 7 years, DOES NOT prepare you for upcoming heartbreaks. Initially, I thought, I've went through worse, 7 years of just lies, bullshit etc, but I was wrong. Dead wrong. Cause it could get worse or the same thing all over again. Waking up to that hole in your chest, with drops of water making its way rapidly across your cheeks from your eyelids. As you calm yourself down, you realise that all it is, is just missing the person. Missing their presence, their "Good Morning" and their "Good Night" and how those days are just part of your memories.
Memories that you can't recapitulate.
I miss you. More than you could imagine.. More than I could ever thought.
As tears well up on your eyebags, you realise, that you're 'not okay' enough to talk about it.
Wednesday, October 16, 2013
Monday, March 11, 2013
To life.. and its lemons.