As I was packing my stuff. It hit me..

I'm coming back to reality. For good.

I looked through my clothes, and images of the years that had past just hit me.

How worried I am looking to the future. How... it feels like a giant fullstop. From the moment I step foot to the airport, from then will my life just be a big ball of emptiness.

Im scared. Utterly terrified. But this is a phase that I have to go through. =]

Labels: not getting to my point, something from the soul

I hope you know, my posts are about you..M.

Its hard as it is to have someone you love, walk away from you.
But its harder, to tell someone you love, to stop talking to you when you actually still want to.

===

Its a beautiful day, but all I feel like doing is stay in my room and just forget today ever happened.

I've learned the hard way to not let it get that far.

Tawakal.
Just trying to spend time making my days better. :)

Sigh.. to make things worse. I think I might fail my exams.

I shall always try to remember.. that I wasnt the one who gave up.

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tomorrow's my last paper. Trying to study well..:)

I wonder if i'll ever stop missing you.. Stop thinking about you.


Cause, I've been waking up every morning with you on my mind. And so far, I've succeeded in putting you aside. However, its been different in the past week. Everything feels like it was just yesterday. I should stop. I should know how to stop. I should be able to put you aside. But as days near by, the more I wish I wouldn't have to. I wish I was more like you right now. I wish I could. I know you're not to blame. But I just wish you could have just realized to know that we would make it. All this dwelling in sadness won't help me much with anything. But neither is keeping shut about it. Nothing is right to do. sigh.

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So I'm in exam session. I guess the world should know that. Screwed my paper today. Hopefully I'll be able to make it. Long days in the library. Nothing much. Will try to blog after the exams. If there is anything. I just made up a name for a suspected new Bruce Lee. Cause I just saw this guy, and he was wearing those kind of things you'd see Chinese people wear in movies. Like some sort of martial arts guy. And his name shall be Mark Cheong. Cause it's and English and Chinese name. Well I could vote for this other name, but then I'll just look like a desperate ass. Need to get going. Revision stuff waiting.

I need to let go of you.

I guess my all, wasnt good enough for you.

Remember when we'd just hangout?

I thought you told me, you'd never leave me.

Bayangkan betapa hancurnya hati ini kasih, semua telah terjadi.

Expected the world, as a little girl.

I try to live more everyday, but every time I think I'm strong enough, I feel a part of me wither back. I don't want to be here, and I don't have the need to go home. I don't know what to do, or what to feel. I try to fill my everyday so I won't feel that piece of shattered emptiness. I'm tired of talking about it. It doesn't change a thing. I'm tired of running from it, it doesn't change a thing. I hate how vulnerable you've left me feeling. And I hate how much its affecting me. I no longer hope for you, yet my heart yearns for your presence. I try to win, but always end up tumbling down. Even if I cry, only the pillow would catch my tears. Even if laugh, it's gone for awhile. I try to change, but nothing felt like it has changed. I try to move on, but I don't know where to go. I try to see the light of everyday, but the rain keeps pouring. I wish to see your face, but I know, I'll feel the pain. I want to know how your days are, but it'll kill me to know you're not in mine. I've given so much, and had been left with so little.
At this point on, I don't know how to love again. I know, I have all the love filling in my heart, but I trust no one to give it to.
I miss you, but I don't want to know if you do.
Nothing will change. You will just always be... the one, that left.

Labels: 567, something from the soul

Who am I lying to?I'm just still in love with you.

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First exam is 2 days.
Tryna focus;

Labels: announcement., career, exam

Ive been wishing on these stars, for your heart. For me.