Over the years, I have posted what's been on my mind. Things changed and I have posted less of what's going on and just "embrace" the experience.

Today, I just felt like I need to post again. After numerous heartbreak, here I am again. I hate to publicise it, but my mind is just all over the place right now.

My heart is shouting in different emotions and there is nothing.. Nothing.. I can do.

I don't understand what god has slapped to my face, and it hurts. I feel uneasy, I feel hurt, I feel anger, I feel a longing for his presence.

it feels like my fingers aren't able to type the words, like there is a force stopping me from writing all this. My brain is just really clouded with how I feel, and I keep breaking down in front of the world. I hate it. Why does my heart feel this way..

So many things is just going on in my head right now, and it won't express itself in words. I don't know what other way I can express it, other than to cry.

I think I have fallen to the very bottom.