They don't trust me enough to call their own, but having a scape goat is better than having to explain things for yourself. I'm sick of sitting and having to pretend to be on their side. 

Five years ago, if anyone asked, I wouldn't have believed it, I wouldn't have thought that an empire so big could manifest a delusional witch so pathetic that would destroy the empire in less than a year. 

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When I started writing the above lines, I didn't know what I'll be running into the next day. 

Now every bit of me is dreading the idea of Monday, simply because I know they will be pushing me over my limits. The place is toxic. Progress couldn't happen in that sort of environment, so there isn't any. They take and break people, making them a joke when they're broken. 

All this maybe just to make themselves believe that they're worthy of the position they're in.

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So the above-mentioned Monday happened. I broke down for the first time in my 7 years of employed life.  

I have never been so unhappy about work until that point. I have never dropped a single tear cause of work before, no matter how much my previous 'supervisor' pushed me. The frustration that I felt, I hated it. That was the sort of feeling that I have been wanting to avoid from the start of my career. I walked in to the position with a 'i-must-not-let-work-life-take-over-me' mind set and there I was, in the car, with my red eyes, my red nose and tears welling up. There was nothing I could do, I felt stuck.  What is there for me to do?

May 13, 2021