And what's all did you leave with? Regrets for letting myself fall in love with you. I thought you were serious about us. You werent.

As I was lying in my bed. I thought of how months went by. From the moment I stepped back. I just thought of how different things were. How my degree of contentment has changed drastically. How it feels like a sort of transit. How it feels like everything will change once its over. But will it?
I should be thankful that I have something to do, to divert my mind from what I miss most. 'You'. But things have changed, I should try and get a grip of that. Would things change once its all over?Or would it just remain?

Im scared, scared of for when its over. Scared for what's lying there for me. It was all clear when you were around, but it all had gone with you when you left. I no longer know what I'll do with my life. I no longer see. I dont know where I'm going with this. I just needed to type something. I need to unfeel what I feel.

Ahh.but my work's piling up. Exam's around the corner. I need to get a grip. I need to get this. I need it. Maybe then i'll know what to do next.

Sooo.. I got an extention for my dissertation. SOO..I will try to do them. Kay that is all. bye.

Labels: something from the soul

Lastnight, you were in my dreams. I saw your face, I saw your smile, your smile was for me.
It was as if it was our wedding anniversary. We were in a place where terror overtook the night. I was walking out of the bedroom, it was almost night. You were there, waiting for me with a smile on your face, eager for a form of transportation to get us to the ferry. I wasnt sure if we were going on a cruise, or you were trying to get us out of the place. But you were so anxious. The only thing I was sure was, you wanted to take me on a romantic night out.
When nothing came, you became more anxious, you were mad, cause you couldn't give me this one celebration of our love. But all I remember was holding on to your arm smiling, happy that you were there with me. I felt safe.

Of all the dreams I had of running around for survival, this was one of them, where I felt completely safe. I was sure, in lastnight's dream, I wasnt running around to survive, I was running around cause I was surviving.. with you.

In case you didnt know.

I've tried everything to get you off my mind.

did you not think so far ahead?

I play the game as well as you, and you can treat me the way you do. And i'll pretend like I dont love you too.

You left, you ended us.
Are you happy now that you broke me down?

Your next girl might not be worth it. She wasnt there during the hard part.

I've always had this thing where no one touches my food. Especially when I'm fuck hungry.
I remember this one remark I made that my family kept on till now. "I could sue you for that" (these arent my exact words). I am pretty serious about people touching my food. So serious, I once did not speak to my dad. It wasnt because he touched my food(i'm not that insane) but there was something about me being hungry, and maybe that theyve eaten the food. (im pretty sure Ive blogged about this before)

So lastnight, whilst waiting a call for from Brunei's AGC, I hung out in a friend's room. I was hungry, I had eaten very little. I left my food leftovers, in the kitchen, covered. So I decided, to take it. And guess what!Somebody ate it, without asking me. If it hadn't been for the fact that I did not know the guy very well, or I didnt find him annoying, I'd scream the shit outta him. Furthermore, it wasnt entirely his fault (as much as I hate saying this) two of my friends told him to eat it. But the fact that he just came from London, sparked more anger in me. He couldve gotten food from there. I remember trying to reach out for my food, and all they said was.. 'pikir kau inda mau lagi. *dork ate it' WTF!I took a glance at him with his stupid face, and just ran up. Hungry as ever, up to the point that insides were tearing me up.

I hate to make a big deal out of it, but its my food ya'll. I dont mind, sharing my food. But in lastnight's case, I was uber hungry, I'm flat broke, and that was a stupid surprise, making my food disappear. My consumption of food, is limited, dya want me to starve?!
As much as I respect not touching your food, dont go the the extent on touching mine.

Labels: announcement., something from the soul

If there ever comes a day when we can't be together, keep me in your heart, I'll stay there forever. –Pooh