AHHHH~ So school's reopening tomorrow, and i find it VERY depressing. Some things bothering me.. Man~ i just hate school now.. and homeworks.. and school~ pfft..bottom line, school's reopening and hell im not excited about it!

Labels: Random

I was listening to "more than words" a few days back, and it recaptured some old memories that made me smile. Alot has changed since those times and ALOT has obviously happened.

I thought back to each of the things that seemed to be a milestone to my life. From the start of things to the very end, which cant be technically true. lol~

Then suddenly this one guy, pops into mind and the thought of him made me decide that I do miss him. It was bad as it is, having thoughts of him in some parts of the day. Ehh~ he's living happily now..let it be..=) btw its kau pip.

And so I had memories flowing into mind throughout the whole song. None of it made me frown, just a smile on my face as I try hard to finally doze off..xP

Labels: Random

am i supposed to beg like her, to be the one crawling to you, for you to know i love you alot?!
You havent proved enough to me for that to happen..

I told you to tell me everything, so I wouldnt look stupid. Did you?no.
You lied to, not straight to my face, but straight to me. You said "fuck her. I dont care" yet..sigh..

I just dont want to get to deep in this, but honestly i've been most happiest with you around in months. Ask my friends, or si Vyn perhaps - whose relationship to me you compared with that of yours and hers, its different.

But I guess noone can truly change..?I'm sorry I believed in you. I guess I'll have to give you your soul back?or have you already taken it and gave it to her?

I love you alot.
I wont beg for you to come back, but I would take you back if you wanted to.

Labels: something from the soul

Labels: something from the soul

Im smothered with thoughts now, of old unsettled..hmm~ matters?Amazingly its not bothering me much. Shouldnt be bothering me at all to be honest.

Its weird that it just came passing by - well not pass but came by~ - at such "unexpected" times. A single 'incident' perhaps none, triggered the whole thing. Obviously, I seem happier now, but it feels like something is trying to pull me back to misery and thats these thoughts perhaps?should it even be?

This post seems to be theoretical?philosophical?and even a lame extract to my "current" deep, disturbing thoughts. Whatever it is, i doubt it could beat the 'greatness' of my previous blogs.
The ones inspired by true feelings and thoughts.
With this post, im just feeling indifferent, whereas my thoughts just runs wild, without even a proper field/topic for it to 'run around'. It seems unclear to what I am trying to say, and I know that I just need to post something up to let all these thoughts go.

though i am feeling contented, i feel like my once dysfunctional life seems better, if only, i didnt screw it up. ahhh~ regrets, one cannot live without. But this is not an official statement of regrets but just an emphasise that unnecessary thoughts are filling my mind.

Sighh..honestly, I am physically and mentally tired to deal with all the drama. I cant keep up with almost everything, from school work to everything outside it. I wake up in the morning, just because I want to see god's wonders, perhaps a better day and perhaps a new me?!But that, came less by day. Im changing back to old useless me, and though I'm bawling for a different me, at the end of the day, im still the same.=/ this is what disturbs me most. Why do I feel like I have the ability to be better and yet im still the same person I was?=/ Though late at night, I vowed to be a better me and yet early in the morning, im still the same ruthless person. =/

Labels: Random, something from the soul

I once said to Atts "cinta tetap cinta"
Azim once said that loving someone is forever.

Goodbye my almost lover, a song that struck to me as something..though it doesnt relate now, but its one of my current favourites..just rips your heart out..not mine at the moment though.=)

When will he wake up and come online.

Wanted to patch things up with buddy.

What to post up in this blog.

Patched things up with dy.

Waiting for baby to come online, ia baru bangun.

Its father day.

Had a big dinner.

Chami's here.

How awkward would things be..

Chami berakal, pandai cakap abit.

Chami's into the wire.

Random-ness tiada lagi..

Labels: everyday ku., Random

I'm just smiling now..just smiling..=)
it couldve been rare to see me being in this state during the times, only buddy knows and only buddy cared, and only buddy geram-ed and only buddy wonder why I'm willing to be such a fool. Buddy tried to open my eyes but I insisted on having them closed. Aku sayang kau dy..alot more than you could ever imagined..I swear to god its true..=)
that still doesnt mean that im talking to you yet..

Baby, despite what I know, I find you now, irresistably wonderful. You opened up a door to brighter days, you make the stars come out during the night, and most of all you bring back love to my soul.
Hehehe..it may seem kinda corny, but technically it is true.
And byy~ i'm smiling lagi, and I smile more when you jadi si penjealous boyfriend and when me pikir you marah but it turns out that things are alright. hehe..and I cant get you out of my mind. You make me go weak and you make me sooo desperate to want to impress you..although at times it does happen to be harder than expected. Especially during GP..*wink*
I hoped I could see you more often.
hee..baby, remember when you asked me how long we've been together and I answered:
"me inda sure, psal me mcm inda kira the days yg past, me kira saja brapa lama lagi me kn jumpa you.."
Thats true baby, I dont look back, I look forward to the days I could be with you lagi..
hee..
hehe..and baby, browsing through our conversation makes me smile.

Labels: keemosian

Jangantah dulu pakai 'sorry' untuk manisi aku. Amacam?
buat bodo saja~ macam inda biasa saja..

\m/

Labels: Random, something from the soul

YAY!!He's online, and I was just about to blog on how much I miss him. And suddenly, ia online!!hehe..apakan..I cant contain my excitement. *lumpat2* and I literally squealed tadi..!!hee..

Lallalala~ hilang sudah sikit rindu ku arah ia. And i'm smiling..weehoo..I'M SMILING!!Macam my sister is talking to me and i'm just smiling..hee..i lovvee lovee lovvee youuuu babyyyyy!!

and and..the corniest line that could ever be said, he made it sweet..hehe..xP i know its still corny but it made me smile, probably be because its corny or watever..hehe..

mates, dates and sleepover secrets. says:
You andang sentiasa di hati me.

mates, dates and sleepover secrets. says:
Sekali me rasa..

mates, dates and sleepover secrets. says:
Everywhere i go, i always carry your soul by my side

mates, dates and sleepover secrets. says:
Thats the way it is

hee..yes, people, go sanak on my random posts about him..boo!!*tapi senyum* but i am a lovestruck bimbo now~.. kindaa~~ does always having him in my mind counts?and the thought of him makes me smile?heee..okay..okay..its not that im out of words, im just to busyy talking to himm nowwww....x)))))

Labels: keemosian

Built To Last"

I've looked for love in stranger places,
but never found someone like you.
Someone whose smile makes me feel I've been holding back,
and now there's nothing I can't do

'Cause this is real, and this is good.
It warms the inside just like it should,
but most of all it's built to last

All of our friends saw from the start.S
o why didn't we believe it too?
Whoa yeah, now look where we are.
You're in my heart now.
And there's no escaping it for you

'Cause this is real, and this is good.
It warms the inside just like it should,
but most of all it's built to last.

Walking on the hills that night with those fireworks and candlelight
You and I were made to get love right
'Cause this is real, and this is good.
It warms the inside just like it should,
but most of all it's built to last.
'Cause you are the sun in my universe,
considered the best when we've felt the worst
and most of all it's built to last.


mates, dates and sleepover secrets. says:
By, i want to takecare of you.

*wide smile* this song was playing, and there was a line that caught my ear, cause it was during that line that he said this..=)

baby~ i lovee youu soooo~~ and i will for as long as you love me more..:P
hee..me macam rhyming!!*bangga* me mau bagi you kata-kata indah yang akan membuatkan kata-kata di kepala mu hilang kerana terlalu mencintai ku..:P me tauu selfish bunyi nya, but that's where i drown..That's where the world just suddenly become ours.*senyum*

Labels: everyday ku., keemosian, Random

baby's strictly imposing his 'penjealous' thing, hee..
and with every jealous gesture and words he say it makes me smile more.
You're pulling me in, deeper with that jealous thing of yours..*rawr*

I miss him alot.x(

I am contented for now. =) just that "unfinished" thing poking on my nerves. I'll let it slide bit by bit..=)

Today's knowledge;
Althusser (1971) suggested that we are indulged in an ideology even before we even thought of what it means, that we never question it. Education is the best place to impose this in modern societies. As a marxist, obviously he believes that it is the ruling class thats creating this ideology. The reason for this, is so they can easily control individuals and thus allow them to be given a certain position in "the capitalist world of work."


Repressive State Apparatus

• State can use force at any time.
  
• Police; strikes and riots. & the armed forces.
  
• BUT coercion is not easy, expensive and it is bound to fail.

Ideological State Apparatus

• Gaining consent of the mass by constructing their ideas.
  
• Knowledge passed in school, but ‘wrapped up” in ruling-class ideology.
  
• Knowledge distorted by ideology

In a way I am helping my fellow socio mates if they do bother reading this.LOL!

Labels: keemosian, Random

5thJune08 - supposed first buddy day.

Labels: celebration

I'm a goodgirl..*smiles*

Its just a normal Tuesday..and there's really nothing to blog about..x)

and one of the sweetest thing a guy could do, is not say "for you i will", its them actually doing it..

"all talk, no action" dyy~ *wink* and i'm sorry aku inda jadi mengallow booking mu ari ani..*kelip* esuk saja~~ i'll bring the stuff..-_-" what stuff?..aku sayang kau dy~

I'm just being random, fadz must know, and kira maybe~~..was being random dari tadi..*kelip*

There's a smile on my face, someone curved it..and i love you behh!!*kelips* ohh yeah..ia boyfriend ku~..

Fadz asked.."how long have you been together?"
I said.."about a week"
Fadz went on.."but you're all on to each other.."
x)) i love you again byy~~

I kept on talking about 'wonderland' he was out smoking~ you give me a reason to be better byy~..again i love you..
We'll go out soon, hopefully, you, me. i love you byy..hee..

just went to the toilet, a bang on the door, opened it, nothing..WHAT THA VYNN?!

*smiles* baby listens to Reshmonu.

Labels: everyday ku., keemosian, Random

Paker cicak. Bersajak tah kau dyy~

Labels: celebration, snapshots.