Monday, January 20, 2014
I'll try baby..
I'll try for us.
Labels: 567, keemosian, something from the soul
January 20, 2014
Friday, June 22, 2012
This isn't my year. But God know's best. Patience. Tawakkal. Alhamdulillah.
Labels: career, exam, keemosian
June 22, 2012
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
"As the uneasy feeling went on, the gaps of the door, became material, of what seemed to be a scarf. The fire flickering struggling to beat the wind, switching between colours and shape. The fire eventually found its way and smoke began to rise.
The day darkens as the minutes go by. Ashes falling and thoughts began to escape, running around the room. It was like unleashing the demons. As the smoke sinks in the insides, the uneasy feeling lifted for a little bit. One of the demons was the uneasy feeling. It ran the fastest. It was one of the most intolerable. It was one of the lost ones. No known reason for its behaviour.
Perhaps it wasnt just the smoke, perhaps it was also something else, that demon slowed down. It became weak. It no longer took form of a demon, it changed, it became a weary lost soul."
I took what was supposed to be a half an hour nap, but I guess the non-existence of energy drinks turned it to a few hours nap.
For some reason, I just wanted to go on with my sleep. But the thought of a messed up sleeping pattern gave me the urge to eventually lift the blankets of my body. And of course, the thought of my future plans. I wish to not mess that up.
I felt heat prickling at the back of my body, but the aircond was on 16degrees. I felt like ive lost my motivation to go through with my plans. I thought of the idea I had for today, and it didnt feel like I want to go on with it. I am behind on my scheduele.
And for some reason, I ended up in the kitchen, looking for food. I failed. I called the parents, but they were out somewhere, and they didnt want to get me food. So I ended up vacuuming my room. It doesnt look any different, just no more lizard shit. I hate lizards. Theyre icky and they leave a mess. But my room has a weird tendency to breed huge ass, icky lizards. I dont understand.
For some reason, at the back of my head, I think the nagging this morning, made me lose my motivation to study. I hate 'advises' it makes me seem like I dont have a brain. I am not saying I wont listen, or I wont ask. If i'm not asking for it, I already know, Ive thought of it, I have a plan. Its like.. riding a bike on a hilly slope, and the 'advice' is like the one that pushes you back down.
Im tired of blogging. It doesnt really help. -_- Ive wasted time, and Im getting sleepy again. And my train of thoughts no longer falls down to my fingers anymore. Cause it has subtly taken up my brain in every minute of every hour. And it has become very comfortable there.
I really want to study, but every part of me is shutting down.
sigh. I need food. Im hungry.
"While you're ignoring her, another guy is giving her attention & while you're giving her problems, another guy is listening."
I saw this on twitter.
Labels: career, exam, keemosian, not getting to my point, something from the soul
December 20, 2011
Sunday, December 04, 2011
Labels: 567, keemosian, meaningful qoutes, something from the soul
December 04, 2011
Tuesday, August 09, 2011
Ughh..so I had this fucking annoying lecturer the world could possibly know off. Like..is her point of being a lecturer actually to help students?Or just show off her law acquired law phD or whatever. Her degree wasnt even in law. and wtf!
Teaches like fuck stupid. Oh yes, she mumbles when she teaches, and what she mumbles could basically be found in lawexpress. Like..wtf right?AND OMG!!she deleted her lecture notes. HOW FUCKING ANNOYING CAN YOU BE NATALIA??!!
I AM ANNOYED THE FUCK OFF HER GUTS!
UGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Labels: just because im Asian, keemosian
August 09, 2011
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Back to reality.
Missing the part where I had our vacation..:( Be posting pictures sometime.. Not tonight. Too depressed. heh.
So yeah.. had one of the best times of my life. And being back just feels, weird. Its good to be back to all the familiar smells and sound and everything.. But..its just soooo weird. Had about 2weeks away. And I cant emphasise this enough, but the best times of my life.
Nothing beats. Its like being home-sick, but worse. Cause its only been home for a week. blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!Labels: celebration, everyday ku., keemosian
April 20, 2011
Sunday, February 13, 2011
The world doesnt need to know my stuff.
but I still have the right, to put it out.
I miss you M.
Its Saturday, thought of doing something. But, just too knackered. =]
If I dont hop on board, I just feel it..
and it hurts like hell.
Labels: 567, everyday ku., keemosian
February 13, 2011
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
The other side, wants to break down and cry.
So when things seem to be fine, its not. I gotta stop qouting from my facebook status. But its true ya know. Back in the days, I used to qoute those to the title of my posts, but then, I dont think I'll ever change my layout, so thats outta the picture.
So for some reason this morning, I woke up with thoughts. Well that basically a duh..but this one thought was one that hit me with realisation.
Well, worse comes to worse, things wont change. So what if reality slapped me in that direction. But then again, for other things I have to see.. That just, sent me to a spiral. Maybe im overthinking this. I dont know. I gotta leave these thoughts. Ive got a paper next week. sigh.
Labels: keemosian, not getting to my point
January 12, 2011
Saturday, January 08, 2011
Oh my god. I dont know how I did it the first time, but this time, its so overwhelming. I dont want to be such a Andy's-favourite-song-played-in-the-car that repeats over and over. But I miss home..=(
And dad texted and Im like all............... sigh.
I dont know how to overcome this. I know its just awhile, and I know this is like sooooo over exxagerated, ive done this before and I was okay. Im just not that settled in yet. sigh.
I dont remember if I blogged this in my previous posts, but I.. remember being on the plane and feeling all depressed cause I remember the last time I was on a plane, and I was so excited..cause I was on my way back. :(
Then there was this other time, I couldnt sleep. So I closed my eyes, and imagined back to when I was on my first flight heading there, with my parents on my left, and brother in law on the right.
OMG!I AM SOOOOOOO....I dont know?emotional right now..:(
And this morning, after showering... I was like all sad again, cause i remembered the last time I showered (exclude the one yesterday) it was on the night, I was gonna head back..:( I remember how the night was... I remembered how that day went. I remembered how relieved I felt having landed in Bangkok, having to actually spent my 6hours in Asia. That I was actually back in Asia with Asians. (mostly) I remembered.. going out of BIA and seeing the faces of my parents, my sister and Syahmi's..:( I remembered how serene it felt. I remembered.
I remembered the first hug Andy gave, I remember the smile on the maid, I remember Wa'ie expressionless (well, straight and like huh? but not obvious) face. Seeing Sara for the first time. Going back to my room. Dinner with the family, second time stepping foot to Times Square, it was late, nada lah food. Omg..I remember..
sigh.. I dont know how long this will go on.. but i really need to stop. Sigh.. Im gonna head off now. Its time to study.
Labels: just because im Asian, keemosian, Random
January 08, 2011
Wednesday, January 05, 2011
Soaking in the last night in my room. Just when you finally get used to it again.. Reality just has to pull you back..=]
anyways...4 out of 4!
Mere coincidences ah.. Spent today with two bitches. Thanks guys.. Pictures to be uploaded soon I guess.. Might be tonight.. Will see..
I think I did all the things I wanna do.. And got everything i needed to get. Tomorrow, will spend time with the kids. Tadi had dinner with the family..=)
awwwhh..ill have to work for this..
It really feels heavy this time..:( like harder.. cause i know what im going back to..:( not that its much of a hell hole..but its not much compared to what I have here..=')
Okay..might just be exxagerating..=) Will be uploading pictures now.
Labels: announcement., everyday ku., keemosian, Random
January 05, 2011
Monday, January 03, 2011
Its getting really weird....
Funny weird..hehehehe...
Leaving in a few days..:( 3days to be exact. Not psyched for an over than 2 hours flight....
Bleagh!Oh..its 2011 already.. I think I kinda blogged that.
Malas ku blog..aku kan turun liat cerita ghost.. turra nigga higga.
Labels: everyday ku., keemosian, Random
January 03, 2011
Sunday, December 26, 2010
I dont know why.. but..all I have to do is close my eyes, and im in dreamland. Am I jet-lagged,or.. something's wrong with me?
No matter how many times I sleep in a day. No matter how well I sleep at night.
And I just noticed, I have two more weeks to go.. :( inda puas eh rasanya...masa awal i wanted to be there, now I just wanna stay here..:(( :'(
sigh..sedih ku eh cani ani!
Tadi aku jumpa si boyfriend..sekali ani aku rindu ia.. ia berjoli ah.. antam ia!*antam sheep* NOW YOU KNOW!!
okeh..im annoying.. aku kan belajar..but aku distracted..
I dont want to leave now..:( ill miss everything..ill be back to reality..ill be sad..:( :( :( i hate this..ill miss booboo..if i walk on the streets ill think of him, cause kami alum sempat jog together..if i go up bitch hill, ill miss the way he carries me around..(he doesnt really, but he would, then again..he wont..would he?hmmmmm..would you boo?hehehe..) so yeah..anyways..so when i see snow,ill wish he was there with me..if i feel cold, i would wish he was around..:( and ill also wish i had the wind that doesnt feel cold at all..:( ill miss the kids..ill miss the sisters, and ill miss my parents and their constant nagging. (im not complaining :p) ill miss the parents..:(
sigh..inda ku mau ckp eh pasal ani..banci ku.
bah imma go study for abit now..its more productive ya know....
Labels: everyday ku., keemosian, Random
December 26, 2010
Sunday, December 05, 2010
Went to Cheshire-Oak..Im killing myself..T.T
Labels: everyday ku., keemosian
December 05, 2010
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Am I really part of it all?
cant remember the time, feeling to be part of it.
Labels: keemosian
November 23, 2010
Saturday, November 20, 2010
BUDUH WAH!!AKU FREAK OUT SENDIRI WAH NI!!!
WTH!!
Labels: keemosian
November 20, 2010
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
AND IT HAS ARRIVED!!!!!!
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash2/hs580.ash2/150205_10150095425555359_579555358_7691879_228834_n.jpg
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!:DDDDDDDDDD only thing is..-.- i forgot about the memory card..-.-
Labels: everyday ku., keemosian
November 17, 2010
Monday, November 15, 2010
And oh yeah..yesterday, I did my laundry. After it was washed, ive put it to the dryer, when i came back one hour later. my laundry was on top of the washer, still wet.. I pulled the dryer door.
This girl came in with her stout boyfriend or whatever. Dorg dua stout. And she's like "she's putting her stuff in again *laughs*" ia pikir aku inda paham kali..Aku bawa senyum lah..that i guess caught her off guard. Sekali after my fail attempt kan pakai the dryer..I cakap lah in English.."atu baik kah?" that caught her off guard lagi.. her face changed bah!like from whatever it was to..O_O
And I think, she thinks im fucking stupid. WELL DUH!IF THE MACHINE WORKED INDA KU TANYA KAU PASAL MACHINE LAIN BODOH!*roll eyes* sekali ia mcm "you have to close the door" aku cut her off at the end of her sentence..and she just went.."oh, well i guess this one works"
And when I went to take my laundry, after it actually dried.. saw the stouts lagi..they came in diam lah..took laundry and left.
So kalau it was her who did that to my stuff ah..puas hati ku lah..kalau inda, im sorry for being so rudeee...but you had to laugh at my face.HAD TO AH?bah eh..imma sleep..ive got 9oclock class that im always late tooo..
FYI, my camera's situation still messed up..-.-
Labels: everyday ku., just because im Asian, keemosian
November 15, 2010
Thursday, September 09, 2010
I miss blogging. I miss having things to blog about. I miss, I miss, I miss!
So, let me start off on an old phase in my blogging life. THE ONE WITH THE TERRIFYING TRUTH ABOUT MY EVERYDAY LIFE!!*GASSSSPSSS*
So.. hmm.. last two nights, I SUSHI-ED WITH NAWY AND AZRI!It was fun, cause I get to laugh at Azri like through out the whole night. Annoyed ia.. HAHAHAHAHA!okay, mean. NAT!
Then lastnight, went sungkai with Baiti and her sister and friends, then we headed off to gadong, met with a few Bangor-ians. Si "secret" macam confirm sudah.. *kirai* hahaha..okay.. I dont like this blogging about my everyday life in detail..-.- its soooo... something..-.-
OH MY!Today, one of the weirdest thing happened to me!I was at moe right.. and then like people were talking to me.. Like the security guard made like a joke "bisai2 gugur tu" and i was like that doesnt quite look like a face but the small o is my mouth, and the bigger Os are my eyes. so anyways, and then he went like "nada wah" -.- then like i went back down, and like the lift maintenance was like "ambil surat?" and shiz all the way from the 5th floor to G floor.. then the other security guard was like asking questions lagi..LIKE WHY!!!I like had my sleep deprived face on, or what I felt like one..-.-
So yeah, THAT WAS WEIRD!And now, im back from everything. And... I suddenly dont wanna blog, and i seriously want to re..re...re...ject something. HEHEHEH..biartia bitchy. Kau jua dulu bitchy..whatever!
Labels: everyday ku., keemosian
September 09, 2010