Saturday, December 08, 2012
What do you do when you miss someone and you truly want them to know but at the same time, you dont really wanna do that?
Ive started to accept the way things are, handling things with more diligence. Whatever bullshit that comes my way, stays for the day, and never to be thought off days after.
I think I've also finally accepted the idea of work, and is now eager for paperwork with a payroll at the end of the day. My dreams will come true eventually, for now, what I need to do is just.. roll with it.
I've also learnt patience. I learnt that fate will work its way.
Its December, 8 days has passed. The year has been quite upsetting for me. But I've come to a conclusion, its just for the year. Its preparing me for next year. God knows what He has planned for me. It might be a surprise.
But there's still that feeling deep down inside, that things was just perfect with you around. I wish youd knew that youve made me the happiest with your presence. I hope I will eventually get around that feeling and overcome it.
So I basically have nothing to blog about. I just drove for the first time in the heavy rain, it was scary. But it was an experience.
Alot of drama had been going on, and oh god!were they all high-school, pre-school stuff.
Ive gotten sick a few days ago. K.O-ed for 2 days. I have never experienced coughs that were agonising. With a rising temperature of 40.2. They say, getting sick was a way to erase sins. Then I am thankful for that 2 days. But, if possible never again.
So really, I dont know what is there to blog about. I just like the feeling of writing down something as if i'm writing an essay. I miss that feeling. I miss work. I miss typing. I miss learning.
My everyday is getting on to me, and I'm starting to get sick of it.
I didnt get enough sleep lastnight. I dont know why. And my aircond's broke, so another night with just the fan. I hope i'll be able to sleep tonight. And amazingly!I wasnt tired.
I actually had a great day. Family time in the morning-afternoon. Friend time at night. Home before 12. And I think its worth to be grateful for. Or maybe thats just the fatigue thats talking. Maybe I am actually tired, and writing things down is just a way for me to not realise that?hmmm.. Possible. And plus side, it makes me feel like i'm doing work and all grown up.. *beams
So..yeah, ive been saying ive nothing to write about and just kept on ranting about stuff. I think I shall for now, go to sleep. Or at least try to. Or!I could set up my station again and watch movies?Maybe. We'll see how I feel after i've clicked the 'publish' button.
Publish, its like such an official work-ish word. Gives me a sense of.. grown-up-nism (if that is even a word).
Okay I'm pretty sure I am beyond tired now, and my brain just keeps on shouting random things, so I'd still be typing and stay up for no particular reason. I think I shall set up my station. Yes I shall!
So Adios.
Labels: everyday ku., not getting to my point, Random
December 08, 2012
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
So im in class. And im totally lost. Totally not concentrating. EU law all over again. its such a bore. i dont know what she's talking about. Inter-American system..................
Labels: Random
February 29, 2012
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
I havent been blogging properly in the past few months or so..its like sooo..i dont know..
My blog's dying, i know..ive been saying it over and over and over, with intention to revive it. But..i havent been philosophical in life lately, and I havent been blogging about my life..and I havent had much common sense.
i really have no intention to blog.. I dont know if i still have a reason to..this used to be a sort of diary, but yeah, having it all in public and all that shiz, it just died. I know I could have the option of privatising it, but what would be the use ya know?
So yeah..so..hmm..dad went to Cambodia lastnight, and apparently he left his charger..so..cannot reach him one. Today is the first time in days that i stayed home. It feels soo..not reviving. Chilling though, being in my room, but everywhere else is just..killing me..
Okay..i seriously dont know how to blog..:( this sucks. I used to love blogging and talking about stuff..but I just dont know what the hell i should blog about now..:( I SOOOOO WANNA BLOG!!gimme some ideas..eseh apakan.. so yeah..till i get something running in my mind..!
Labels: Random
June 21, 2011
Monday, May 09, 2011
Do you love me or do I run?
So for the past few days, I havent been able to make proper revision.. I really dont know why. Could it be cause its the weekend?
Ughhh.,.lazy days. So..what has been up?Nothing much?hmmmm..okeh..I cannot think. I need to pee for the hundreth time..:( so I shall vamoose.
Cant wait to be back home..=)
Im doing all I can to be a better *person.
Labels: Random
May 09, 2011
Wednesday, May 04, 2011
A relationship cant make your life a whole lot better, knowing that you're loved does.
And a song from Olly Murs to start the day can make your day too..=)) well at least mine.
Im at the library at the moment. Supposedly doing my Public law revision BUT I forgot where I left of..-.- soo..Im procrastinating for a little bit.
Yesterday, my brows were done, and they're ultra thin now. I look like Chinese..-.- soooo..weird.
awwwmmm..what else..nothing really. well there was that Junjung Ziarah I went to in London. Like couple of days ago?But then again.. hmmm..oh my..so there were tons of stuff going on. But since, ive been such a lazy ass to update, and even upload pictures, they remain only in my mind. and thoughts. Oh my!
met these girls. ♥♥ had a great time too..teehee..So awwmm..gotta be getting on them revisions now. Exam starts on the 12th. Blog soon after. Got tons of things planned.
Labels: everyday ku., Random
May 04, 2011
Tuesday, May 03, 2011
For some unknown reason, I really cant wait to be back. =)
Labels: Random
May 03, 2011
Friday, April 29, 2011
Oh.. simple things..
where art thou went?
Labels: announcement., Random, something from the soul
April 29, 2011
Monday, January 31, 2011
Thats just one fucked up shit. =/
Labels: Random, something from the soul
January 31, 2011
Sunday, January 23, 2011
And I really just feel like blogging to procrastinate..:( but there's really nothing I want to blog about. Nothing I want to share with the world. There's something.. but not what I want to share with the world, till I could sort it out for myself.. By all means, my posts has been quite..uninspired. With no in depth meaning. Just hints of teeny-tiny part of my life. Which, does not account to a beautifully written post.
I keep on saying this over and over again. That I've lost my knack for blogging, Ive lost all meaning to produce, beautifully written posts that might be taken as someone's else own work. But really there's nothing, I dont know what the word is, from my life.
At most, i'll get response of a fucked up, inappropriate tard. Probably if I put down my thoughts and everything. And Ive really repressed all that opening up thing. I make my blog public, cause I really have no intention to like.. I really have no idea why people privatise their blogs.. I mean that is if its worth reading. If lah ah..
But like seriously, im always like..what?sigh..giggle-giggle,laugh the shit out, BITCH, sigh, laugh the shit out, BITCH!,what?,giggle-giggle...okay i know you might not get my point but ya know thats just how it is wah. Macam same old shit.
Well I dont know if other people say this..but I say "Cinta tetap cinta". Ya know, like no matter the distance,the time, what happened, LIKE SERIOUSLY..no matter what!Once youve felt it, Im pretty sure, it wont ever go away. Like if you were to say... thats wrong.. then it might just not be love. Catch my drift?
Really, Im tired with trying to define love, cause out of all people, im such a tard at it. But im pretty sure, it should be one easy thing. Ups and downs shit, arguments and happy times, id still think, it should an easy thing.
And you know, if youre gonna say the opposite of that, if youd think about it.. like thats what everybody says. Like..for one statement, there's always this other one opposing it. So you really cant be sure which is wrong which is right. Its really screwed I tell ya. Ya really cant just listen to people, and then you cant just listen to yourself. I dont know, if im just this one screwed person, who gets all confused, but really..
if you think about it.
Labels: not getting to my point, Random
January 23, 2011
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
My exam's tomorrow..
And never had been the floor to any place I study, dont look like that. Huahuahua..my table's too small for me to study mmkay??best alternative. Wish me luck!i am now eating dinner, left over garlic rice from this morning, and home-made kentucky chicken..(kentucky flour covered chicken) ;p
Labels: everyday ku., exam, Random
January 19, 2011
Friday, January 14, 2011
Im doing this for you my loyal reader(s) if any. [The blogging part that is, not the picture]ODAH!Aku dangar lagu sedih..so aku mcm..mau begambar sedih macam org frust. karang lah ku tonggeng2..frust menonggeng.wawawa..im so funny..like shit head no. screw you.
Sigh..today statrted on typical.. What made it another awesome day was getting my tv. Getting to skype with boo. Something happened lastnight.........
Lemonade was spilled on my carpet, and its not dry till I woke up this morning. I dont know if its even dry now.
And..omg yeah.. i dont remember...-.- sigh.. tadi i managed to study for over an hour. and actually enjoyed it. tomorrow i will study more..=) Okay.. i really blog the shit out of my head, but my mind is just in a bad place right now..=( soooo..im listening to babyface.
I wanna know things.. I wanna know, if signs are part of reality. I wonder now, if people and sense could ever mix. For some reason, I just had a flashback, of being back in Kampung. Like in the old days, when I was a kid. When everything was all play, nothing major really happened. Its cliche, but I want to relive those days. For some good reason, innocence was part of serenity, of something simple and happy.
Im cold, and I remember that one rainy night back home, being with boo..=']
sigh..
Something has gotten me thinking, and with no answer or some shit. You know like the kind of thought that just lingers, but doesnt really result to anything. Have you ever had those thoughts?That all you do is think of something, and thats that?sigh..
Okay..my mind's really not in a good place right now, and i basically just cant type stuff out. and im in the library at the moment..and...its 6pm.. and I miss Brunei..and I have an exam in a week?And im thirsty..sigh..
Labels: everyday ku., not getting to my point, Random, snapshots.
January 14, 2011
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
I dont like this feeling. I fucking hate it.. and I.... hate her.
How many people in the world do I hate?one. her.
BANCI KU!ughhh!
what a waste of post.. but..im just so..sad about it..i mean..sigh..
Labels: announcement., everyday ku., Random, something from the soul
January 11, 2011
Monday, January 10, 2011
Hello..=)
Im feeling a tad bit better now. I still miss home, but its more okay now..=)
So I found out that I only have one exam...and so..im slacking for abit. Dont worries.. Ill try my best to overcome that. Ive got inspiration on my wall..=)) I hope theyll make me go through this.
I think one of my greatest weakness here iss....online shopping.. like really..im like here for just 3days, and ive already bought something online..-.-
So..im gonna head down for dinner tonight..for the past two days ive been in my room, first night no dinner, and last night chicken(present birthday kali ah) then off to sleep. Tonight, I hope could help me with my sleeping pattern..causeee....i dont want to be so jetlagged. I hate the thought, cause that just made me miss home..-.- okay okay..enough..sooo...hmmm..aku kan away from the laptop mmkay??=))
blog later!and ooh..check this out..stocked up!
Labels: everyday ku., Random, snapshots.
January 10, 2011
Saturday, January 08, 2011
Oh my god. I dont know how I did it the first time, but this time, its so overwhelming. I dont want to be such a Andy's-favourite-song-played-in-the-car that repeats over and over. But I miss home..=(
And dad texted and Im like all............... sigh.
I dont know how to overcome this. I know its just awhile, and I know this is like sooooo over exxagerated, ive done this before and I was okay. Im just not that settled in yet. sigh.
I dont remember if I blogged this in my previous posts, but I.. remember being on the plane and feeling all depressed cause I remember the last time I was on a plane, and I was so excited..cause I was on my way back. :(
Then there was this other time, I couldnt sleep. So I closed my eyes, and imagined back to when I was on my first flight heading there, with my parents on my left, and brother in law on the right.
OMG!I AM SOOOOOOO....I dont know?emotional right now..:(
And this morning, after showering... I was like all sad again, cause i remembered the last time I showered (exclude the one yesterday) it was on the night, I was gonna head back..:( I remember how the night was... I remembered how that day went. I remembered how relieved I felt having landed in Bangkok, having to actually spent my 6hours in Asia. That I was actually back in Asia with Asians. (mostly) I remembered.. going out of BIA and seeing the faces of my parents, my sister and Syahmi's..:( I remembered how serene it felt. I remembered.
I remembered the first hug Andy gave, I remember the smile on the maid, I remember Wa'ie expressionless (well, straight and like huh? but not obvious) face. Seeing Sara for the first time. Going back to my room. Dinner with the family, second time stepping foot to Times Square, it was late, nada lah food. Omg..I remember..
sigh.. I dont know how long this will go on.. but i really need to stop. Sigh.. Im gonna head off now. Its time to study.
Labels: just because im Asian, keemosian, Random
January 08, 2011
I just realised my 'safety vault'.
It was why, leaving was hard.
So you really cant please yourself. You say this one time, then the other time, you just dont wanna be back in this room. I miss everyone. I feel like such a big baby. But I really miss everybody. ;(
And as tiring as travelling is obviously. I cant believe I had to go through it with a 27.9 kg worth of food. HORRIBLE!and the wheels to the bag was!!BLEAGH!And.....i missed two direct trains!The last one, I missed by just a few minutes.. sigh. But at least, ive made a run for it, or so it seems with a, not pull, but more of a square/rectangular bag with wheels!I try pulling on the tali or whatever it was..THE THING FELL OFF!!T.T on top of that.. (although we had breakfast three times in the plane crazy uhh?) I hadnt eaten. Well I sort off did, but...comeon!By the time I arrived, I was all out of energy.. I couldve just left the bag there. And thank god, di Chester this lady helped me out.. i hope she notices how grateful i was, by the number of times ive said thank you. and thank god, for giving me the idea to ask for assistance dari awal.. Mun inda wah...T.T
So...ive unpacked. Its not fully done yet..=] Ive got so many stuff..I dont have enough space!
I think I might just clear the space all my stuff is hogging then head to bed. Without proper dinner. Or dinner at all. Right now, im just soooo tired... I wouldnt care!Let tomorrow me handle that. But like seriously its just what..like 7 here..?But then again, I havent really slept. Let my studying be conveyed tomorrow. And im serious..=)
its for all the people I miss. Or at least..Ill try to..=)) So my eyes are getting really heavy now..=) i think i might just start unpacking..and head to bed soon. =)) blog tomorra. Maybe after or inbetween studying.
turra!
Labels: everyday ku., Random
January 08, 2011
Wednesday, January 05, 2011
Soaking in the last night in my room. Just when you finally get used to it again.. Reality just has to pull you back..=]
anyways...4 out of 4!
Mere coincidences ah.. Spent today with two bitches. Thanks guys.. Pictures to be uploaded soon I guess.. Might be tonight.. Will see..
I think I did all the things I wanna do.. And got everything i needed to get. Tomorrow, will spend time with the kids. Tadi had dinner with the family..=)
awwwhh..ill have to work for this..
It really feels heavy this time..:( like harder.. cause i know what im going back to..:( not that its much of a hell hole..but its not much compared to what I have here..=')
Okay..might just be exxagerating..=) Will be uploading pictures now.
Labels: announcement., everyday ku., keemosian, Random
January 05, 2011
Monday, January 03, 2011
Its getting really weird....
Funny weird..hehehehe...
Leaving in a few days..:( 3days to be exact. Not psyched for an over than 2 hours flight....
Bleagh!Oh..its 2011 already.. I think I kinda blogged that.
Malas ku blog..aku kan turun liat cerita ghost.. turra nigga higga.
Labels: everyday ku., keemosian, Random
January 03, 2011
Friday, December 31, 2010
No plans for New Years.
Its alright..i dont plan to resort to anything new anyways..:p
jengjengjeng. Im leaving in a few days. And because of lastnight..i think I kinda dont get most girls..
Okay lah, if most probably kacau, then maybe.. reasonable. But this one girl, friends, then found out..then macam suddenly all hating and shit. Like.. girl..what I do?
Like one more time..this happens ah..im sooooooo..gonna blog about it..ani summary saja..hahaha..
so..its the last day of 2010. Im glad, i didnt made any resolutions.. cause then i might be talking about, how much i failed or succeed in keeping them or whatever. Cliche much. eseh..:p so.....nothing planned. But just came up with some stuff. Not sure how rajin I am to actually incorporate them.
..Updating photo album..
Too distracted to blog. Holla soon!
Labels: celebration, everyday ku., Random, snapshots.
December 31, 2010